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Rafael's Story From http://www.lastchapters.org/index.cgi?id=31 When Rafael Abril knew that his father was going to have a by-pass operation, he, his three siblings, and his mother met and talked. They knew about living wills, but they hadn't made one up for themselves or for Mr. Abril. Some of them had talked about having one, but they didn't want to "jinx" him. Shortly after the bypass, Mr. Abril had a stroke. It became abundantly clear that he would not survive for long. The hospital called the family together and asked whether Mr. Abril should be kept on life support. "We wish we'd decided before," Ms. Abril said, her lined face clearly distraught. "It's up to us and we don't know what to do." It was not only that they didn't know what to do, but that they knew it was the worst time in the world to be making such decisions. A physician at the hospital asked the family to step into a conference room. He told them that there were actually a series of decisions to be made. Should the machines continue to breathe for Mr. Abril if he went into cardiac arrest? Should doctors cut a tracheotomy if need be? What medications should be used? How long should they persist? "If only we'd asked him before," Ms. Abril said, as she held the hand of a priest in the hallway. The night wore on without decisions being made. All the spiritual comfort offered by the priest was to no avail: it could not be received by a large family that had made no preparation for this painful moment. Finally, in the early hours, the Abrils decided to let their father go off the ventilator - to die. But even then, their worries continued. Had they done the right thing? Is it what he would have wanted? Since Mr. Abril had never told them - and they'd never asked - they never knew. |